Therapeutic Efficacy of Cash in the Treatment of Anxiety and Depressive Disorders: Two Case Studies

Submitted by Bill St. Clair on Tue, 23 Oct 2007 13:11:24 GMT  <== Humor ==> 

Methodius Isaac Bonkers at the Bonkers Institute for Nearly Genuine Research - a researchy-sounding joke showing that large amounts of money can cure depression. Sounds right to me. Might even be cheaper than standard pharmaceutical fare. Hehe. [grabbe]

Psychiatric medications relieve symptoms of depression and anxiety by restoring chemical balance within the brain, but exactly how these drugs restore the brain's chemical balance while simultaneously wreaking havoc on every other organ in the body remains a mystery. Equally mysterious is the mechanism by which cash payments provide therapeutic benefit to depressed and anxious patients. The receipt of a large sum of money may somehow stimulate, increase, block, adjust or otherwise act upon the level, supply, transmission, inhibition, secretion or bodily excretion of dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, acetylcholine, gamma-aminobutyric acid, dihydrogen monoxide, propylene glycol or some other chemical compound yet to be discovered.

Elation and euphoria are the most common side effects associated with cash. The favorable side effect profile and high response rate compared to placebo are the main advantages of cash over standard pharmaceutical treatment, while the major disadvantage of cash would appear to be its prohibitive cost. However, retrospective analysis supports the hypothesis that over the long haul cash is not only safer but also more cost-effective than any medication currently on the market.

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