Addiction is a hole in your soul

Submitted by Bill St. Clair on Sat, 05 Oct 2002 12:16:48 GMT
From: Patrick K. Kroupa <>
To: <>
Date: Monday, 30 September 2002 08:40
Subject: Re: [ibogaine] Please Read Addiction ibogaine this list everything

On [Wed, Sep 25, 2002 at 06:21:58PM -0700], [Occam's Razor] wrote:

"Please take the time to read this. It took me some hours of thought to write and I'm not being sarcastic anywhere.

"Now Includes: Fully Integrated Messiah Complex"

This is a very heavy burden mahn. In the extremely near future we are going to start a support group for people who are Completely Filled with God. Charismatic cult leaders, Zealots of all varieties, and the Completely Fucking Crazy and/or Resonating with Enlightenment, are all welcome.

"I have now understood that Mindvox isn't a recovery site. I still don't know"

Look, obviously it's this THING.

"entities and lights, eyes, colors. Instead of crack, heroin, psychiatrists, court dates, lines in the methadone clinic, running out of meds, the treatment pimps as you call them on this list, the rip offs, the list is endless. You know the list, you write about the degredation and hopelessness of drug addiction very well. You know drug addiction. You know treatment for drug addiction, it's not any better. You also know this other place.

"How do I get here. I have money, I will pay. I've already spent it on everything else and it hasn't helped. And I'm dead serious. Get me out of where I am over to this other place. What did you do? H O W ????? Don't tell me LSD or ALD because I know 100s who have done psychedelics and none who have anything remotely close to what you've got. Don't tell me ibogaine because as you yourself said it detoxes you and maybe more, but I'm not seeing anything like what you've got. It detoxes me and then what? What do I do? Roadmap please."

Do0d, I'm not you. I can't hand you a roadmap and say, okay, follow this exactly and you'll obtain whatever results you want. Although, get back to be 'round 2004 or so, I should have the hang of that shaktipat thing by then.

Heroin is extreme numbness; it ain't demonic possession, it's just a molecule. Look at it as the left-hand path of tantra, chemical Zen. It's pretty fucking cool. There are just states that are beyond this. Godhead is one killer fucking rush. I love to get high. Shift focus; addiction is just energy... A LOT of it. Instead of pretending it's not there, or trying to make deals with it, which doesn't work because it's not listening; ride the lightning. Focus and direct it where you want it to go. Who gives a fuck about being "normal," whatever that means exactly.

To cop a line from Jung, addiction is a hole in your soul, where the connection to God is missing. This is pretty much exactly correct. And I'd say you would be in a good space if you can establish or re-establish your personal conduit into all this; but I'm not exactly sure even that is necessary.

Without taking a long detour, I know two people who I hang out with sometimes; one was a junkie for 22 years, then managed to kick, smoked pot for a decade, and has now entered a My Body is My Temple phase, goes to the gym 4 hours a day, doesn't drink coffee, smoke, or eat anything that isn't Holistic and Natural. He's also an incredibly fucking annoying human being, "Patrick, have I mentioned in the last 5 minutes that you need to stop smoking? Steak is evil, and there are natural substitutes for aspirin..." Uhm, thanks for sharing mahn.

The other dude had a roughly 25 year long methamphetamine run, woke up one day and decided it was getting old, went back to school, runs a store now, builds motorcycles, plus, also, works out 4 hours a day (there is a pattern here). He appears to have found some sort of spiritual belief system in the works of this entity named Krylon -- which apparently isn't just spray paint for tagging up anymore. Krylon is channeled by somebody; and he's this God or Demon, or Energy Collective or something, which either makes the magnetic poles of the earth shift every few thousand decades, or he is just in charge of watching this and kinda commemorating the event. Sadly I'm uncertain which it is, since I never pay that close attention to the details of the scenario when it is patiently explained to me.

But anyway, neither one is exactly what I'd called Filled with God. Neither one thinks much of therapy or the concept of "recovery." Neither one does the 12-step stuff, although not having had people attempt to dump them into that paradigm against their will, they don't exhibit a violent psychotic reaction to it, like some of us may at times. To summarize both their opinions on it, it'd be more of a Hovering Question Mark, "I felt like shit, people said I should go to this meeting because it'd make me feel better, so, okay, why not. Then I went there and it's this room completely filled with whiny people complaining about shit. It really depressed me, never went back. I don't get it."

Neither one is banging up dope or speed, after more than half a lifetime of doing that.

What do they have in common? Well, working out FUCKING HELPS. Period. Beyond that; not much. Except they BELIEVE they can do what they're doing. Which is all it takes.

But YOU hafta do it. Whatever IT happens to be. Unfortunately the answer to how you get from over there, to here; is not lining up molecules [A], [B], [C] in the proper order. Although, that too helps a whole fuckova lot.

Ibogaine will get you unsprung. After that, it's a question of whatever you do to connect yourself to someplace positive. You need to keep doing it. Otherwise you will fall on your face and get torn down by reality. The World is a Vampire.


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