|13 May, 2005|
His Majesty George W. Bush
The White House
Congratulations on signing the National ID into law. Now that all Americans are going to be tracked from birth to death in one huge database, I'm sure you'll be able to prevent anyone from doing anything you or your handlers don't like. Liberty was so messy!
When the Twin Towers were destroyed in 2001, you said it was because they hate our freedoms. Problem solved. We no longer have any freedoms. Bravo!
You've done a wonderful job of spreading fear, darkness, and hate around our once great land. It was a brilliant idea to use the forms and rhetoric of the Prince of Peace to carry out the will of the Lord of Darkness. I'm sure He's reserved a place of honor for you in the Underworld. Well done!
I hope that you will personally take part in the cavity searches you plan to implement at state border crossings. That will help your subjects to understand how much you care for them. The personal touch is very important.
Are you sure the American people are sufficiently worried about terr'ism? Maybe another Reichstag fire is in order. You can't be too careful about these things. Maybe it should be a nukuler disaster this time. I'm sure you and Dick will think of something good.
All hail the Amerikan Empire!
Your regicidal slave,
Bill St. Clair
P.S. Ask Dick to explain "satire".