A Short Course In Clearing Customs
Doug Casey at EscapeArtist.com - the next time you need to do something that puts you in contact with a Customs agent, or Taking Scissors Away goon, or a traffic cop, for that matter, treat it with the disdain that it deserves: [tmm]
- Don't cringe and supplicate. Stand tall, look the agent straight in the eye and, under no circumstances, smile. Your demeanor should not be, like most, that of a child, afraid to be scolded. It should be that of an objective scientist studying a familiar but unappealing insect.
- Answer questions curtly, with a single word. Don't volunteer anything. Don't make small talk. Don't make pleasant conversation like all the whipped dogs around you.
- If the agent proves inquisitive, ask, in a firm and business-like way, exactly why he's asking. If you get an unsatisfactory brushoff, ask to see the regulation authorizing them to ask you that specific question.
- Never lose your temper or cool.
- Don't adopt an attitude, or be a hard case; you're not looking for trouble. You simply want to maintain your space and integrity in a nonaggressive manner, which is quite enough to come out way on top.
- Never lie, or say anything from which you'll have to backpedal. You don't want to give them an opening to go on the offensive. It's imperative to maintain the high moral and psychological ground.
- If you have a problem with the agent's attitude, ask to see his supervisor. In dealing with the supervisor be businesslike, rational, and a concerned citizen, interested in seeing that everything is done in a 100% correct, proper, and by-the-book fashion.
- If you're not treated in a correct and proper manner, ask for the names and numbers of those involved, write them down, and then write a letter to their superiors. You won't, incidentally, get their names. But I promise you'll ruin their day.
- If the agent says "Thank you," your response should be neither "Thank you" nor "You're welcome," unless you'd also thank a mugger. You've just had your privacy violated, and it could have turned into a nightmare. One time when an agent thanked me, I simply looked at him and walked off. He had the impertinence to call after me, saying "I said, thank you." I looked back at him, and said "I heard you the first time."
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As the author says "The most
As the author says "The most overblown, overrated, disappointing, popular, and stupid movie of the season" is Independence Day, the article is nearly 12 years old--but it's not out of date.
It's just as--if not more than--relevant today as then.
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