John Edwards Vows To End All Bad Things By 2011

Submitted by Bill St. Clair on Thu, 02 Aug 2007 13:37:45 GMT  <== Humor ==> 

The Onion - satire. Hehe. [root]

According to Edwards, his plan is composed of three steps. Everyday bad things, such as curse words and splinters, would be eradicated during his first six months in office. Next, very bad things, including child abduction, soil erosion, and resurgent diseases such as malaria and tuberculosis, would be ended by the the end of 2009. Finally, extremely bad things--plights such as genocide, species extinction, and virtually every form of cancer--would take a full two years to wipe out.


"This is certainly a step in the right direction, but it's not enough," Daily Kos contributor BitchingPoints wrote hours after Edwards' announcement. "Where in Mr. Edwards' list of bad things does it mention poisonous snakes, nasty red wine stains on rugs, trolls, and noisy neighbors? Edwards has left the door wide open for a rival candidate to outflank him on his own issue by introducing a comprehensive plan that fills these gaping holes."

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